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Classic stereotypes of a Twitter user

Twitter_Bird.jpgI've been on Twitter for a while, and if I've learnt anything it's that there are some amazing people on Twitter. Just like in the real world though, people on Twitter can be easily pigeon-holed into stereotyped boxes (just for fun) so here's my comical look at the world of Twitter as we know it.

The Broadcaster:

They joined Twitter for one reason and one reason only. It's all me, me, me, for them, and they just want to sell, sell, sell, their idea or product to you, you, YOU. Follow them for timely updates of THEIR news and never expect a reply. Oh dear, they simply don't get it...

The Newbie:

Aww, look everyone, a new fresh tweeter. Yup, we can spot them a mile off, egg-faced and lacking in hashtags, they wander aimlessly around Twitterville, trying to 'like' stuff and firing tweets into the darkness that is their pathetic 17 followers. Give them a follow - humour them. Or maybe offer them some help; it's like giving way to a learner driver, we were all there once (snigger in silence).

untitled-6.jpgThe Marketing Company:

Oh yes, we're on to you Mr £350 a month conman! We smell the cheating auto-tweets, and we know if we ask you a specific question about your product that you'll have to call someone, or worse Google it! We spot your duplicated stock shots like a gossip mag spots stars wearing the same outfit twice. You're not fooling us, you're just fooling your client who thinks you're helping them whilst you sell the Emperor his new clothes!

The 10 Minute Trolley-Dasher:

I love this tweeter; they have little time for Twitter and yet they know they have to be on it. Every day the need to tweet is eating at them, urging them, compelling them to join in. At last they find 10 minutes' peace. QUICK, cram a whole day of Twitter into 10 minutes RT RT RT RT reply reply reply tweet tweet tweet STOP! - back to work. Well done, no one paid attention to your 10 minutes of lame; you just spammed and ran.

The Shy Once-a-Day Tweeter:

They have no idea why they're here, no idea what to say, and they're far happier on Facebook. One update a day is fine for this tweeter, and it's usually mind-blowing (it isn't) and life-changing (it hasn't). The once a day tweeter is simply lost in the twitter ocean and soon winds up on the beach of Facebook like driftwood from a social media holiday horror. "It's rubbish on Twitter." No, YOU were rubbish!

WTU_Avatar_copy.jpgThe Chatterbox:

We all know this one; never shuts up, constantly tweeting, always nattering. The problem is it's with the same six people everyday and you end up unfollowing them just for some peace and quiet. Their verbal diarrhoea Twitter feed is gaining nothing and certainly not new followers.

The Imposter:

No, not the hilarious spoof accounts - the imposter is someone who imitates everyone else. They completely lie in their bio, and retweet anything and everything they see. Following this person is a total lottery and your timeline will be filled with hundreds of tweets that mean nothing to you, from people you don't follow. "Thanks for following me, you're now following everyone I follow now too." Jeez, chill with the RT and tell us about you?

The Bikini Babe:

Come on guys, (and girls of that persuasion) when you were first followed by a sexy babe in a bikini you were a little excited! You eagerly read her bio to realise that she was way ahead of you in 50 Shades of Grey, and actually does things like it all day. But alas she's not real, and soon you will meet her identical sister from another mother. Spam-off! 

The Multi-tasker:

Well sort of, the tweets are not actually the work of a multi-tasking genius, they're actually the work of one update shared across every channel possible. Linked into Facebooking the world of Twitter while Google +ing their Foursquare. Bless them; they don't realise that by concentrating on a few and tailoring their approach, it would be far simpler and more effective. 

facebook_logo2.pngThe Lost Soul:

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, this tweeter was not a tweeter. So they signed up and had a look around, it wasn't for them, and they didn't get it. They did, however, manage to link their Facebook updates to Twitter and now leave a constant biscuit crumb trail in Twitterville; a vivid reminder to anyone that followed them that they gave up on Twitter - they're a quitter! 

The Brand:

They are the brand, they exist as a logo and hide behind a corporate image.They follow strict guidelines and never enter in conversation: "Urgh no, that's not for me." They completely ignore the idea of letting people meet and interact with the company online, and they simply replicate the faceless image that their brand had already created. Well done, you missed the point entirely.

The famous person:

Yep, that's the reason we all hear about Twitter before we join it. We see these incredible stories in the news, and we want to create mass hysteria with 140 characters. We can't, we just don't have the audience to generate the interest in the first place. Still, it's great to watch these uneducated fools make a mockery of themselves and Twitter by ranting and then deleting tweets. Whatever - we screenshot and retweet it before you realised. Trendy!

Well there you go, a few stereotypes that I've come across. Have you seen any of these? Or maybe you've come across some that I haven't. Feel free to share them in the comments box below, as I'd love to hear about them.

Thanks for reading and remember, we can help you if you want to make the most of your Twitter account. Just contact us, or come to Twitter School.

 

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Liked this blog? Now you can read 'Another 10 classic Twitter stereotypes'

Proofread by @pinky_princess. To find out more go to Jo's Correctional Facility

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