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Another 10 Classic Twitter Stereotypes

Ok, so it looks like my last blog, 'Stereotypes of a Twitter user' sparked a few discussions. I like to poke fun at Twitter (including myself), as well as the many eclectic users on this very popular platform. I realised there were more, so here are some other Twitter stereotypes pigeon-holed for further amusement...

The Self-appointed Guru:

There are hundreds, thousands, possibly almost a million self-appointed social media experts on Twitter. Apparently to be an expert on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, blogging and anything you care to throw a stick at, you simply have to be able to sign up to Twitter and say so. Wow, you got some serious skills, tell me again how broadcasting your message and not replying to tweets is an expert approach... Hello...? Hello...? Hel... Oh  how rude!

The Part-Timer:

Now I'm not talking about someone who tweets occasionally here. I'm talking about the type of tweeter who only uses Twitter to rant at companies when they're annoyed and follow celebrities to ask for RTs. Sorry, you really missed the point of "Join the conversation" didn't you?!

The Vague Poster:

We all follow one of these. They want attention, but they don't really ask for it in the usual manner. They do what's known on Facebook as 'Vague Booking' - posting vague updates in the hope of attention. "Oh, are you ok?" "Would you like a cuddle?" How about I unfollow you, would that help? Because it would help me immensely.

The Ghost Writer:

I follow Twitter accounts for the person in the photo, the account in the bio, and the story that I bought into. When I find out that the person who tweets is far from that, and is in fact a company or techy-type friend of the Twitter account, I turn off. As Kelis once said, "You might trick me once, I won't let trick me twice...!"

The Follow Back:

This is not just the #teamfollowback crew either, I mean the people who follow tens of thousands of accounts and have equal numbers following them. What?! Seriously? How can you even follow five, six or seven thousand accounts, let alone into double figures? They don't. Quite simply, they follow as many accounts as they can (often automatically) so that they can gain followers, numbers, anyone who cares to follow. Then they simply broadcast their message. Ladies and gentle-tweeters, I give you the robot and everything that's wrong with Twitter for business.

The Check-in Assistant:

Do you have a love affair with Foursquare? Do you check-in to your own bed on Facebook? Do you like to 'get glue' when you watch the tele-box? Then you are a 'check-in assistant'. Seriously, I like to share stuff on social media, but there's a line, and you're shopping on it! Who the heck cares that you're in Tesco? Who's bothered you're watching Dumb and Dumber with 225 other saddos? Unless you're in the White House or at the top of the Eiffel Tower or you can tailor the post so it's a useful update, please don't bother us. Checkin if you want, but don't auto post to all your networks.

The Dear John:

Right here's the deal; I have two shoulders and I'll let people that I know well cry on them, but I just follow you because you're interesting. Going through a tough breakup? Unsure if you should call it a day? Call your Mum or best mate because you just found the limitation of our Twitter connection. *Passes tissue.*

The Spammer:

You... YES YOU... STOP! Twitter's home page says, "Join the conversation" it doesn't say, "Please tweet links of your latest offer in a mention to individual tweeters as many times as you can in 10 minutes." I will block you, I will report you for spam, and no I will NOT click your link. Talk to me, get to know me, then I may be interested in your link (maybe).

The Number Cruncher:

Age ain't nothing but a number, but on Twitter there's an obsession with followers and the number thereof. Here's a scenario; I have 100 followers, you have 1000. My followers are implicitly interested in my tweets and are influential in my field. Your followers have followed you back because you followed everyone and anyone you could find. Whose followers are more  influential? Whose followers are going to get more done for you? Whose followers are useful and whose are merely just notches on a Twitter page? Think about it; it's quality not quantity - so stop begging and trying to reach the next milestone - get some quality followers instead.

The Preacher:

Yes, that's me. Always telling everyone else how to tweet. Once a complete novice, and now basically thinks they're working for Twitter. On hand 21 hours a day to spot your broken link, and ever-present with a telling off when you list seven accounts in a tweet and shove #ff on the end of it. We all secretly love this tweeter though. Without them we'd be blimmin awful on Twitter and we are eternally grateful to their infinite self-taught wisdom. (Trust me, we are,  ok?!) 

So, there's another batch of tweeters, pigeon-holed for our amusement. Want to add some others? Feel free to tweet me or comment below. I love Twitter and my passion for good tweeting can often be misconstrued as taking the social media high ground, but that's your issue - deal with it (please don't tweet it!).

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Cheers,
Todd @WarwickTweetup.

Proofread by @pinky_princess to find out more go to Jo's Correctional Facility

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Posted by Dom on
We did a similar thing not too long ago ourselves. There are loads of streotypes to pick on: http://www.rocketmill.co.uk/the-ten-types-of-tweeters
Posted by Warwicktweetup on
Thanks for the link Dom - I love that list. We do take Twitter rather seriously around here, so I thought I'd poke fun at it for a few blogs! ;) Thanks for checking us out.
^Todd
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